In life, we are under the illusion that we are in control and yet, ironically, it is when this illusion is challenged that we feel most alive.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Hypotheticals, with a touch of encouragement
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm just recycling the same topics that plague me in the quiet times of introspection. With such a thought in place, I now dwell upon the bleak realization that all I am will be forgotten. I just now read a post online that stated that in 100 years, nobody would know what I've done. That's CRAZY! What's more crazy, perhaps, is the acceptance that such a statement carries truth coupled with the desire to leave a lasting mark. My mind struggles to overcome the inevitability it develops to recognize. Furthermore, this paradox that is so unique to my subjective consciousness has been and will continue to be realized countless times outside my own experience. I want to be something more, I want to be unique, I want to do something great, and yet I realize that my measure of greatness is fleeting. Even the standard by which I may succeed in this lifelong pursuit may be discarded with the passage of time.
Wow, how depressing, let's move on. This is a pattern, I've noticed, when it comes to philosophical thought: deep engagement, bleak realization, disassociation from the subject. Let's not dwell there though, let's move on. I'll leave you to consider the impacts of such means of self-actualization and understanding.
How about some news? That'll brighten up this dreary post and make you all feel a little bit better about things, I hope. Really, don't dwell on it all, not now at least. My volleyball team just killed it, recreational-style, becoming champions of our fancy little league. In other news, I am nearing my goal of guitar superstar. Let's talk about that, I like that stuff.
Music! What in the world, what an amazing thing! I had a jam session with a friend the other day and wow, what a great experience! I feel such a passion for music, the whole pursuit of growth and development in this aspect of life is such a joy! I feel as though among the greatest feelings we can have as people is a desire to grow. We're so frequently told what we should learn that it becomes a chore, and we seek freedom to turn off our minds in our spare time. To want to fill that time with the pursuit of knowledge is exciting! I am getting better, I will continue to improve, and life just keeps getting better. I can't believe this goal which, in the past, seemed so distant is now becoming a reality.
If I were a twitter social media guy I'd instagram a poorly lit picture with my own hashtags telling you to follow your dreams, with puns about nostringsattached and such trending my way to the top. But I'm not, I'm a boring old blogger so I'll put it this way: I challenge you to think of something you've wanted to do for a while, but have hesitated from doing. Now that you've thought of it, tell me what it is. I will then pester you until you start heading in the right direction. Dreams seem to be but possibilities elaborated in hypothetical existences; goals without limits. Yet the limits inhibiting the pursuit of our progress are seldom as substantial as we make them out to be, so stop dreaming and start to be the person you're planning to become.
Wow, how depressing, let's move on. This is a pattern, I've noticed, when it comes to philosophical thought: deep engagement, bleak realization, disassociation from the subject. Let's not dwell there though, let's move on. I'll leave you to consider the impacts of such means of self-actualization and understanding.
How about some news? That'll brighten up this dreary post and make you all feel a little bit better about things, I hope. Really, don't dwell on it all, not now at least. My volleyball team just killed it, recreational-style, becoming champions of our fancy little league. In other news, I am nearing my goal of guitar superstar. Let's talk about that, I like that stuff.
Music! What in the world, what an amazing thing! I had a jam session with a friend the other day and wow, what a great experience! I feel such a passion for music, the whole pursuit of growth and development in this aspect of life is such a joy! I feel as though among the greatest feelings we can have as people is a desire to grow. We're so frequently told what we should learn that it becomes a chore, and we seek freedom to turn off our minds in our spare time. To want to fill that time with the pursuit of knowledge is exciting! I am getting better, I will continue to improve, and life just keeps getting better. I can't believe this goal which, in the past, seemed so distant is now becoming a reality.
If I were a twitter social media guy I'd instagram a poorly lit picture with my own hashtags telling you to follow your dreams, with puns about nostringsattached and such trending my way to the top. But I'm not, I'm a boring old blogger so I'll put it this way: I challenge you to think of something you've wanted to do for a while, but have hesitated from doing. Now that you've thought of it, tell me what it is. I will then pester you until you start heading in the right direction. Dreams seem to be but possibilities elaborated in hypothetical existences; goals without limits. Yet the limits inhibiting the pursuit of our progress are seldom as substantial as we make them out to be, so stop dreaming and start to be the person you're planning to become.
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Healthy Desire
What is a healthy desire?
Is there such a thing? I suppose I should start there. What does it look like to look longingly upon an object and wish to possess it without associations of domination, control or obsession? This Christmas, I have no list and yet I still fear that materialism will overwhelm me. As I reflect on the gifts I could have received, the things I could be using; I will be in a position of unhealthy desire. That is what inspired this quandary, yet it does little to resolve the initial question.
Whether we're speaking in terms of people or things, our gaze has a potential to reduce what we view to the position of objects. We alter these objects from their reduced state to mental representations of happiness, adding to the list, omitting forgotten treasures and discarding past acquisitions. We are a people in process, searching for the things that'll bring with them happiness. This, as far as I can see, is the unhealthy desire that taints our interactions with the things we buy but also the people we objectify. We control what we possess, and seek to possess all within our reach, looking upon the world with outstretched arms.
So what may healthy desire look like? How can I still desire if the very notion is tainted with my flawed approach? If desire itself knows no bounds, am I trying to consolidate oppositional forces? At this point I usually get all analytical, but I'll flip it, and leave this for you to decide. Let me know. What is a healthy desire? Can this be applied generally or is it specifically bound to set circumstances?
Holla-acha-boi.
Is there such a thing? I suppose I should start there. What does it look like to look longingly upon an object and wish to possess it without associations of domination, control or obsession? This Christmas, I have no list and yet I still fear that materialism will overwhelm me. As I reflect on the gifts I could have received, the things I could be using; I will be in a position of unhealthy desire. That is what inspired this quandary, yet it does little to resolve the initial question.
Whether we're speaking in terms of people or things, our gaze has a potential to reduce what we view to the position of objects. We alter these objects from their reduced state to mental representations of happiness, adding to the list, omitting forgotten treasures and discarding past acquisitions. We are a people in process, searching for the things that'll bring with them happiness. This, as far as I can see, is the unhealthy desire that taints our interactions with the things we buy but also the people we objectify. We control what we possess, and seek to possess all within our reach, looking upon the world with outstretched arms.
So what may healthy desire look like? How can I still desire if the very notion is tainted with my flawed approach? If desire itself knows no bounds, am I trying to consolidate oppositional forces? At this point I usually get all analytical, but I'll flip it, and leave this for you to decide. Let me know. What is a healthy desire? Can this be applied generally or is it specifically bound to set circumstances?
Holla-acha-boi.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
A Prayer
God,
Make my prayers like poetry,
Make my desires perfect, and my dependence absolute.
Give me words to speak, not to be heard but to communicate my hurt.
Give me eyes to see not weakness or suffering but the pain behind circumstance.
Let me be that which I'm created to be, not that which I desire but that which is desired of me.
That I may identify with the universality of a world torn from your presence.
That I may stand boldly behind my confessions aware of your sacrifice.
Aware that I falter, that I stray, that I fail, that I need.
Aware that yours is a language of love.
Make my prayers like poetry,
Make my desires perfect, and my dependence absolute.
Give me words to speak, not to be heard but to communicate my hurt.
Give me eyes to see not weakness or suffering but the pain behind circumstance.
Let me be that which I'm created to be, not that which I desire but that which is desired of me.
That I may identify with the universality of a world torn from your presence.
That I may stand boldly behind my confessions aware of your sacrifice.
Aware that I falter, that I stray, that I fail, that I need.
Aware that yours is a language of love.
Time
Is it just me, or is time fascinating? Sometimes the most beautiful things aren't the sunsets, the starry nights, the falling snow or the autumn leaves, not the things which we look upon and appreciate but rather the things which we completely ignore. These things, once noticed, stand out like color embedded in dull greys, startling our conscious mind and demanding our focus. We see beauty in celebrities and fashion models, this beauty we observe as directed and appreciate as expected, but this other beauty is found in the wrinkles of old age. It is not that which has happened, or that which is yet to be, but that which is in process, slowly developing beyond our detection. This is the beauty of time.
We are forever consumed with its not yet and alreadys, its long ago and its when I grow ups. We pace nervously in anticipation and sigh heavily in our relief of a moment passed. We direct ourselves to seize the day which is yet to be, live for the moment that lies still in our past, and only live once conquering opportunities to experience the true extent of this sole lifespan. With all of our emphasis on life, the life lived and that which lies ahead, we overlook the beauty of this moment.
There will never be a time like this. In all my days, with all the thoughts I've yet to experience, I'll never recreate this instant. It is both entirely new and forever old, and as I pass it by I fail to acknowledge its work. As lines are formed, carved deeper and made bolder, I hope to one day be startled by the beauty of it all. Not to limit it to what is before me, or decide as to what deserves my attention, but to be aware of this silent beauty which simply is.
We are forever consumed with its not yet and alreadys, its long ago and its when I grow ups. We pace nervously in anticipation and sigh heavily in our relief of a moment passed. We direct ourselves to seize the day which is yet to be, live for the moment that lies still in our past, and only live once conquering opportunities to experience the true extent of this sole lifespan. With all of our emphasis on life, the life lived and that which lies ahead, we overlook the beauty of this moment.
There will never be a time like this. In all my days, with all the thoughts I've yet to experience, I'll never recreate this instant. It is both entirely new and forever old, and as I pass it by I fail to acknowledge its work. As lines are formed, carved deeper and made bolder, I hope to one day be startled by the beauty of it all. Not to limit it to what is before me, or decide as to what deserves my attention, but to be aware of this silent beauty which simply is.
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