Ten thousand words

Happy Canada Day, I suppose I should start with. Now that the patriotism is out of the way, on to more pressing things. For today, it's all about discipline. Not the discipline-your-children type, I mean the ability to be in control of your behaviours; the type that can keep you from walking over the edges on the many dangerous cliffs of life.

Why discipline? Cause I lack it, and it's my blog, so...yeah. Sincereously, I have a yearning to be more disciplined, I have a desire to fall into line, but I am so ridiculously unable to keep myself in control. I think I’d be a good soldier, cause when someone tells me to go, I go. I just need to be hearing that someone in order for me to feel motivated. The off thing is, I only realize my inability to stay focussed when I've already made my mistakes. At the point of officially too late, I realize I should have changed courses. I need a time turner or something.

At that pace, however, I wonder what I'll be thinking at the last moments of my life. If I only see my errors clearly once I've done wrong, what will my final reflection of my life provide? What a scary, ominous question. I suppose with most things it'd be quite tough to alter this form of my post-action perception, but in the process that is my life I wonder how I can fair to change my thought processes from reactive to proactive. Someone said to me it's a good thing to be asking deep thought-provoking questions of things, as it shows how important they are to me. If so, I suppose I'm just waiting on a bunch of answers.