Meditation on Witnessing

In response to something I've just come across, I think it's worthwhile to spend some time in examination of the role of a witness in faith. What exactly is a witness? What does it mean to be in this role? What are the implications of being directed to witness? What is on the line if this role is fulfilled or neglected? Is it something that can be successful if attempted haphazardly? Tough questions, let's try to forge some answers.

"Christian witnesses must always maintain integrity before the world"

This is the particular quote that struck me, and got me thinking about this role. First and foremost, the lazy part of me disagreed with this absolutist claim putting such emphasis on consistent success, making no allowances for failures or mistakes. Then the realist set in to remind myself that witnessing is never a guaranteed success, and can be negated by the simplest acts of hypocrisy. Tough role? Considering what's on the line, it better be. A witness, unlike in the legal context, isn't someone whose always sought out to answer pre-rehearsed questions to arrive at a common conclusion but instead is one who, through their behaviours and guidance of the Spirit, directs the attention of others towards God. In such a circumstance, how much room for error should be allowed? If, at best, I'm an imperfect representation of a perfect being, at which point does my imperfection so cloud the view of God that he becomes abstract and incomprehensible?

Though there's no one answer to absolve such anxieties, it should be understood that the more my imperfections get in the way, the less God may be visible through my witnessing. This isn't to say that my behaviours should be perfect, as I'm liable and susceptible to sin at any point. Rather, it should be realized that the position of witness requires a degree of integrity that can both balance acceptance of one's weaknesses and sins, while directing one's capacities to behaviour reflecting the one who may repair and rebuild the broken areas. I must maintain balance between the realization that I'm going to sin and thus require forgiveness yet I must, in all circumstances, resist any desire to let myself slip. If I am to point to God, I cannot expect to be turning away on a regular basis. I must, at all times, desire to seek Him, and though I stray always re-align myself. Beyond that, I must acknowledge his role in this process as the one who absolves, and the one whom I may depend on to strengthen my resolve.

This whole internal process, while necessary for maintaining personal proximity to God, is useless in my walk as a witness if it remains internal. If all others may see of me, in relation to my God, is that I do good deeds then I conceal the most important aspects of my salvation. Maintaining this integrity, rather than through hiding the areas that don't reflect God, requires an acceptance of failures and a demonstration of humility in sharing how I may falter and yet be restored through forgiveness. It is God who restores, God who motivates, God who directs; my role is to accept his direction, and follow or stray from his desire for my direction. If all who look upon me, seeing either the good or bad deeds I commit, attribute my behaviours as exclusively internal, they miss the fact that my motivation comes from God.

So what does it require to witness? It requires first that I am directing my attention to the very being that I am witnessing to. It requires that I, even in my mistakes, maintain a desire to turn and face Him. It then requires that I share my failures, as well as my successes, without presenting an exaggerated version of my true self. Finally, it requires that the internal workings of God, the motivation of the Spirit in directing my heart be related in tandem with the acts being perceived. It requires integrity, as near-perfect integrity as can be achieved, to admit my faults and strive for virtue while walking with honesty and humility. To witness, my unconscious yet ceaseless act of worship and evangelism, requires me to associate myself with God in word and deed. It requires that I focus on constant reflection of the behaviours I choose, and acknowledge with transparency the moments of error while striving to consistently make the right decisions. Tough business, I suppose, but it ought to be considering what's at stake.

P.S

A friend said my blogs contain no real updates regarding myself, no journal-esque musings. As such I shall say that the thoughts, rather than the actions in my life, are the best way for me to intimately update you on who I am and what's going on in life. That said, I'll humour her enough to say that life is well; I'm coming to have a more developed, patient, and appreciative view of school (as I near the end of the semester, coincidence?) that is making life easier. In addition, I'm working hard to implement the stuff I talk about with my Life Group and live a life of greater integrity and reflection. Finally, I'm thoroughly enjoying married life and striving towards better loving and caring for my amazing wife. All this to be summed up by saying I'm trying to live now, not with the expectation that life will happen later. This sort of mind frame has me more appreciative of each day, regardless of the challenges it may bring. Life's Good in a real, non-surfacey way that feels refreshing to be able to relate with absolute honesty.