Ramble ramble...

When will the time come that sees me appreciating what I have? When will it be time to sacrifice my desires for those of the people around me? When will it become a reality that can no longer be overlooked or delayed? What will it take for me to realize that urgency is not some distant concept but something that can be lived out everyday?

I wish I had these answers. It's easy to say that the reason I struggle in the world is the world, and that I'd do much better if I was isolated away from the pressures and distractions of society. I'm not sure how truthful this all is, but it sure is easy to say. I suppose this is my problem with running away, as I've yet to see the destination where troubles aren't permitted, and ran past exhaustion is search of a solution. I know I'm supposed to struggle, I know I'd much rather be on the end of adversity than that of simplicity. Yet, it'd be nice to have a balance.

Despite these rantings, I think fulfillment is found not in what one does for the self, but what can be done for others. While not exactly profound, it's something that I need to be reminded of. I'm bored in an existence that fails to branch beyond the thoughts of my mind. Excitement is in the unpredictability of interaction.

It'd take loss, by the way...one realizes wasted potential after the opportune moment has passed. To look back not with memories but regrets is the sentence for idle behaviour. I like to think I live without regrets, but sure wish I had more memories.