Welcome Back

It seems I've gone far too long without finding the time to write, usually meaning I've been too busy living life. Marriage, new home, grocery shopping, dishes, meals, scheduling, planning, decisions. Leaving me breathless, these concepts have consumed me. I only remain grounded and stay afloat knowing that I'm not in this alone. It seems I've grown mentally feeble, like a house of cards with new levels constantly springing up upon an already exhausted and weak frame. Magnificent only in its great stature, it is the adding of these layers that both builds me up and weighs me down.

As though this work is an end in itself, I'm somehow missing the value of the labour put into making life what it is. Exhausted in knowing that I've got to arise tomorrow to an amazing job, head out afterward with an amazing wife to buy food, clean our clothes, and decide upon when and where we are able to visit with amazing friends, these complaints are 1st world problems at their finest. It's nice to think aloud, as it is only in finding words to express these consuming thoughts that I am made able to realize my foolishness.

As the caffeine from a late night visit (which wasn't all that late, truth be told) courses through my system, I'll continue on my journey. Lately, I've been very fleeting, excusing my lack of committment by citing the busy state of post-married life. I think this is a cop out I've overused. It's not THAT hectic. Maybe I'm not doing this right? I feel tired from a lack of exhaustion. Stressed from a lack of worries. Confused by the constant simplicity of life. The more I think on it, the better I feel about it all.

To write, for me, is to awake something deep within. Even in the ramblings of a jolted, contradictory, repetitive gent such as my present self, I find a calm emerge through this organization of ideas. The more I gather these pieces, the more they assemble and assist my mind, in a effort to do more than simply live life. This needn't make sense for it to be of great worth, I appreciate it nonetheless for its simple truth.