Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Late night line...
Sleeplessness is tomorrow's burden as I trudge drearily toward tonight's conclusion.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Birthday at Minnekhada
It truly must be the greatest feeling in the world, to feel loved. To feel that, for whatever reason, you are the subject of another's thoughts. To feel as though your presence is felt, appreciated, cherished by those around you. Today, I feel loved.
I am not a fan of birthdays. When I was younger, I had a bad experience that has since left me in a miniature existential crisis surrounding the celebration of another passing year. It's the sort of thing that's petty enough that you're embarrassed to share it, but substantial enough that you find yourself powerless to move beyond it. My birthday was forgotten, and since then, I've wondered why we remember at all.
Why do we rejoice at the notion that I am being helplessly drawn towards the end of my life? I suppose there's much to be said of being thankful for what we've been given, but that feels overshadowed when we celebrate the progress of a passing year in a day, confining even our celebration on that day to an hour or two. How can I appreciate each moment for what it is when you're singing celebrating a year's worth of grace in one short song? In any case, I digress. As I said above, I feel loved.
As I walked into the school for an early morning volleyball practice, I remained completely oblivious to the package of goodies awaiting me in the corner of the gym. At the practice's end, my fellow PDP soldiers presented me with an amazing bundle of gifts. It wasn't what they got me, not how much they spent or the uses of these presents, it was the thought that I appreciated. As I headed back to my classroom to reflect on their gifts, I remembered conversations had in passing, jokes we'd laughed those deep, drawn out laughs about, and moments when insignificant comments had been noted by people who genuinely care. I felt noticed, I felt cared for, I felt loved.
The greatest gift of all was a card that wasn't a card at all but rather a piece of plain white legal paper, folded over several times and scrawled on without a particular amount of care. This card read "so it's your birthday and you hate cards so some of us thought it would be a good idea to let you know: Everyone hates you! Signed everyone!" Obviously filled with inside jokes, this card represents a friendship that has been built out of shared frustrations, laughs, and difficulties. To me, it is an effort to bring joy in a purely selfless way. To me, it shows that there are people around me who care about me more than I've realized.
Throughout the day, I received a couple cards from students, I had many people come up to me and wish me a happy birthday and, contrary to my usual birthday presence, I actually enjoyed it. These amazing young women brightened my day. It must be the greatest feeling in the world, to feel loved. Let me know if you come across something greater. Today was a great day.
I am not a fan of birthdays. When I was younger, I had a bad experience that has since left me in a miniature existential crisis surrounding the celebration of another passing year. It's the sort of thing that's petty enough that you're embarrassed to share it, but substantial enough that you find yourself powerless to move beyond it. My birthday was forgotten, and since then, I've wondered why we remember at all.
Why do we rejoice at the notion that I am being helplessly drawn towards the end of my life? I suppose there's much to be said of being thankful for what we've been given, but that feels overshadowed when we celebrate the progress of a passing year in a day, confining even our celebration on that day to an hour or two. How can I appreciate each moment for what it is when you're singing celebrating a year's worth of grace in one short song? In any case, I digress. As I said above, I feel loved.
As I walked into the school for an early morning volleyball practice, I remained completely oblivious to the package of goodies awaiting me in the corner of the gym. At the practice's end, my fellow PDP soldiers presented me with an amazing bundle of gifts. It wasn't what they got me, not how much they spent or the uses of these presents, it was the thought that I appreciated. As I headed back to my classroom to reflect on their gifts, I remembered conversations had in passing, jokes we'd laughed those deep, drawn out laughs about, and moments when insignificant comments had been noted by people who genuinely care. I felt noticed, I felt cared for, I felt loved.
The greatest gift of all was a card that wasn't a card at all but rather a piece of plain white legal paper, folded over several times and scrawled on without a particular amount of care. This card read "so it's your birthday and you hate cards so some of us thought it would be a good idea to let you know: Everyone hates you! Signed everyone!" Obviously filled with inside jokes, this card represents a friendship that has been built out of shared frustrations, laughs, and difficulties. To me, it is an effort to bring joy in a purely selfless way. To me, it shows that there are people around me who care about me more than I've realized.
Throughout the day, I received a couple cards from students, I had many people come up to me and wish me a happy birthday and, contrary to my usual birthday presence, I actually enjoyed it. These amazing young women brightened my day. It must be the greatest feeling in the world, to feel loved. Let me know if you come across something greater. Today was a great day.
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