Memories

You say you're feeling close, although
The more I say, the less you know.
And as I fade in to the deep,
it's but a picture that you'll keep.

This image becomes stagnant,
desperately gripped as a final memory,
representing nothing of the present,
but a lasting link to the distant past.

And yet you'll never let it go,
the only me you'll ever know,
reminding you our love was cheap,
it's but a picture that you'll keep.

The last light

I'll miss you.

I try not to think about it.
I tell myself its far away,
that there's no use counting the days.
But the truth is,
not a second goes by unnoticed.

You've given my life its direction.
You built me from foundation up,
from moments of incoherent babble,
to a deeper sense of moral, social, and ethical beliefs.
You're the reason I am myself.

I pledge to commit our every moment together to vivid memory.
To tell those to come of your true self.
To imitate your laugh, to mimic your many quirks.
So fear not of fading away,
your spirit will forever shine bright in me.

My only hope is that some day I raise one like you've raised me;
I dream to know this joy.
If I may instill any level of admiration as you have,
I'll fear nothing, not even death.
For I too will live on, bright as day, in the memory of those I lived for.

Que the motivational music

You play your worst whenever you think you can't play your best

There, I said it. My newly acquired, tested and true mantra when it comes to all things athletic, perhaps even more. It occurred to me several nights ago that so much of sport is mental. I don't even care to venture a percentage because to separate the mental and physical aspects as though they're not so closely interrelated would be ridiculous. However, the mental is in many cases the motivator and driving force behind the physical. Thus, it becomes plain to see the connection between thought, specifically negative thought, and the result.

Some days when I'm playing soccer, or playing volleyball, or any other sport for that matter, I feel as though I'm in the zone. I know the zone is a legitimate thing used to describe the optimal place of performance, or something along those lines. Yet I do little to consider why this feeling is so fleeting at times. Simple, it's mentally driven. Confidence, practice, ability; these things come together to produce this euphoric feeling and generally produce the right result.

Contrarily, some days I just don't want to show up. I feel low, I make poor plays and passes, the game isn't anywhere near the level it should be. It comes as no surprise then that these are the points of major losses, big mistakes and frustrations. Teammates get mad at one another, there is no chemistry, and the whole game becomes hostile. At this point in time, the notion of playing one's best is so far from possible that it's not worth considering.

Now, if it's so obvious, why don't I win more? There's such a difference between knowing something, knowing about something, and truly knowing it. I know my attitude can change so much when it comes to playing sports, I know all about the powers of positive reinforcement and teamwork, but sometimes I know nothing about what I am capable of. It's not until I actually lean on faith in my preparedness, my ability, my performance that I discover that I am actually able to do something successful.

Ever feel as though it's exceedingly easy to deke out someone younger or less experienced than it is someone better than you? Think that confidence doesn't carry over into your play? Mentally, you're already working against yourself if you can't rely on the possibility of success. It's not guaranteed that every time you will do it right, but if you don't try for fear of failing, you'll never progress past the point of self-doubt.

Just thinking out loud on here, it’s my birthday, I can do what I want. Think about playing your best next time you're on your respective field of battle, be it sports, school, work, whatever. Have a little faith that you can do it right. Later days.