Some lovely techno songs to get the blood flowing

Conversationalists apply here

Introspection is my mission. So far, I'm staying on task. Luckily, my trek affords me with some insights along the way. To blog is to master the art of the monologue. I've been developing the art of talking with myself to the point where I'm quite comfortable with myself. Time to branch out my interests to include a more socially interactive form of communicating. Anyone down for a chat?

Playing With Fire

I want my words to ignite your soul, my thoughts to be the match stick striking up conversation and illumination in dark places. My passion knows no limits; a blazing inferno of concentrated determination dancing over didactic discussions of deeper meaning. As fire is not without fuel, so too do I require a steady supply of incendiaries capable of inciting the explosive growth of this constant conflagration. Sparked simply by a suggestion, caused by a question, resulting from a request; conversation is the very fuel which feeds this endless ignition.

For just as I so sorely seek to fan such flames, equally do I require this gust of encouragement. Without your thoughts, ideas and reflections I am but an empty hearth; a gaping desolate display of unattended potential. Place within me the components, set a spark, fan the flames, and before your eyes will burn a fire of unequivical brilliance. An insatiable bursting of fercious flames, ever hungering for the taste of knowledge. For this fire is not the sum of my lowly match and the fuel of a single thought. No, this is the inferno of innovation; the inferno of all inginuity and intelligence being collectively spread over all who seek its illumination and warmth. It has arisen as more than the sum of its parts, but can be traced back to that initial spark. One spark to start an endless inferno, anyone need a light?

The Cycle

It's hard to break the cycle,
and while i'm busy trying
to stop it all from beginning,
it seems no matter what the wheel keeps on spinning.

Cause there's comfort in motion,
whether you're loving or hating
the deeper you're sink, just know
you're nowhere far from where you knew you'd go.

And yet, when the speeds slow,
minds grow and we start to see clearly.
As we near that point of enlightened bliss,
it becomes the freedom that we sorely miss.

Love it, that's an order

Music such as this has such a profound sound to it. It's unique, passionate, romantic, poetic, it is the epitome of beautiful, harmonious sound. Such sound can be chilling, exciting, tragic, energetic, cold and yet on fire. When I seek music, I'm not seeking noise to add to the clutter of my mind but rather a soundtrack to lay upon the many experiences of my life. Instead of throwing music upon the mental mess, I seek its qualities to provide an organization for the chaos that is my mind. This is what it's all about, a release through reflection in an effort to provide unity and harmony to the many chaotic whims of the mind. Time to get started.

Sometimes my mind wanders...

I wonder how much significance I'd have as a person if I weren't constantly searching for meaning and importance. If my life were lived as selflessly as humanly possible, would that lead to more, or less social interaction? There seems to be this strong yearning for constant validation that drives me to seek out laughter. Yet, it's not validation alone, there's something more to it. It's as though humour equates itself to self-worth, and that without socially admirable qualities ones value is never really a matter for consideration. This isn't to say that life itself is a frivilous or meaningless quality, but rather that beyond existence there are these key things which either draw people toward or push them away from you. A neutral life without any of these attributes warrants little recognition and attention. Perhaps this is why these social traits are ever developed in the first place, as if subconsciously we're aware of our need to differentiate ourselves from this easily-forgotten position of neutral.

Think about it

Philosophically speaking, it's better to live a reflective life than one simply in the moment. It's as though there is an elevated degree of intelligence associated with self-reflection. Understandibly so, as we commonly use this argument to prove our superiority over animals and other critters. But I think this is where we arrive at a very troubling paradox: what happens when we realize that the way we're doing things is extremely wrong or flawed, but we as individuals are powerless to make any changes? The major institutions in our world are run on such flawed systems, yet without intervention we're perpetuating and reaping the impacts of their negative effects.

The one solution commonly offered to encourage the individual to free themself from the thoughts of everyone else is to think as an individual. Arrive at your own informed conclusions without accepting the arguments of others at face value. We have the ability to reflect, so in all you do, use it. For change to occur, first there must be a large population of enlightened, free-thinking people. Next, there must be some action, some move made to break the conventions. Don't worry about step two though, there's still much work to be done encouraging and expanding on step one.

We have the capacity to think freely, we have the freedom to think freely, what's holding you back from critically thinking about life? It may be hard work, but it's life-changing, self-defining thoughts which develop your position as an integral individual.

Symbolies

limited to your interpretation,

I could be a floral representation of the
sweet scent of seasonal infatuation,
or the razor sharp reminder of a
flirtateous danger, dazzling yet deadly.

The impulsive impression of honesty and joy
painted with precision on a yellow visage,
or a mask of protection carefully applied
to create a semblance of normalcy and stability.

A free-flying indication of pride, liberty and
unity across vast distances,
or an oppressive, antagonistic reminder of unjustices
suffered in early stages of development.

Your interpretation prevents me from ever being just an object,
with each gaze, behind each symbol
lies all you've ever needed to know about me.
To you, I'm just another thing awaiting interpretation.

I'm still alive

Yes, generally I am against the whole blogging as a journal philosophy, but perhaps in ramblings wisdom and enlightenment will find themselves revealed. Not saying it's likely, but who knows?

As she says above, I'm still alive. School has been dominating my mind for some reason lately and as a result my free time has been redirected to assignments and procrastination. Not the fancy "look-what-I-did" type, but the "wow-where-did-my-month-go" type, super lame. I wish my blog were connected to my brain and that some of my thoughts could just wirelessly transmit here, cause I have had so many Aha! moments this month which have gone undocumented. It is truly heartbreaking to know that somethings I considered valuable thoughts have come and gone, perhaps never to be considered again.

Lets take some time to gripe a bit about how backwards life is before moving on, shall we? Today the idea that we don't learn what we need has come creeping back into my mind a little stronger than usual. Quite honestly, I wonder what life might be like if the "valuable" topics we learn in school were switched with other things. I wonder the impact something like philosophy would have if it were introduced as a manditory subject in elementary school. Seems to me a subject concerned with free-thinking and the pursuit of knowledge is a decent candidate for the school system. I think back to all the useless lessons i've learned and forgotten only to be replaced with more drivel and wonder what could have been. Realistically, I know what I want to do, and have known for quite some time now, why is it that at the age of 17 it is decided that I can begin to choose what I want to learn and pursue? Baaaaaah, at least when I have children I'll try to open their eyes to more than the "necessary" basics.

NEXT! Hurray for friends and good times, yes? Furthermore, girlfriends who are crazy enough to babysit me through the days. Seriously, this lady has patience. I've decided life isn't worth living if it's not exciting and full of laughter, not for me at least. And luckily enough, Leah has the patience to "enjoy" my silliness in its many forms. Every moment I see another couple walking, sitting, eating in silence I shudder to think that that's all that happens in those relationships. Silence for its own sake can be peaceful and reflective, but silence for lack of conversation and laughter is a depressing sentence for a relationship. Thankfully I'm with a lady who enjoys working with kids, and doesn't mind bringing her work home with her.

Beyond this, I find myself caught in a complicated predicament of sorts. I never want to lose a friend, but find myself less and less motivated to maintain many failing friendships. Chances are if you're reading this but unwilling to say so, our friendship is on the crash cart, if it is still in a surviving stage. I guess a blog is sort of a cry for relationship of a different sort. It's as though those who mention reading my many words shine bring among the many people I know and stand out to me as those who still have interest in my life. It's all very egotistical as I consider who chooses me without doing any of the work myself. I think it means I'm in a bit of a funk, and need to motivate myself to spread the love among those who I care about, but so harshly neglect. It's all a big, confusing paradox of wants/needs/actions/inactions, but hopefully I can get a bit of a grip. But ye who read, shine bright and let yourselves be seen, I'm searching.

Until next time I decide to holler,
laaaaaaater days.

Inspiration

Inspiration is my telos. It is my end goal, it is my ideal, it is my sanctuary. I yearn to reside in a constant state of inspiration, but not to accept simply basking in its enlightenment. Much more than that, I wish to redefine it; to enhance and grow the very concept into something of unfathomable potency. I desire it to encompass my entire being, to flow in me and through me to the point where we are one. I hope to be the vessel through which it works as it crafts and speaks through me. Inspiration is no more a stagnant thing than life itself. I wish to not only be part of the process, but to BE the process. If my life is nothing more than a step in the way of progressing this concept, I'll have accomplished my goal; I'll be home.

Drops of Jupiter

Word, Simple as. How can anyone not be in love with this song?

Just some ramblings

There are some things that I have heard and thought about so many times that they become so deeply ingrained in my conception of my self that I cannot envision my existence without a knowledge of them. My philosophical teachings, I pray, get stashed in this section on my brain to be sorted and saved. I find them to be such a source of inspiration, thought provoking reflection, and just general beneficial knowledge. Among these ideas arises a VERY common idea in times of self-reflection; the notion of the herd.

I know I've written about the herd somewhere before, but tonight we had a discussion where thoughts about this general state began popping up in my mind. Rather than let them flee into the night, I shall trap them in the little black writing box that is my laptop. So what is this herd? The herd is the very thing you DON'T want to exist within. It discourages free thought, originality, creativity and intelligence in place of conformity, mindlessness, consumerism and a general lack of awareness. Your image of an animalistic herd probably isn't too far off of what the human equivalent amounts to. Everyone looks the same, shares the same interests, runs together and is directed by a more influential presence. Unfortunately, in our society, these presences care more about our money than they do anything else. This isn't so much a "bad herders" rant as it is a "what gives?" rant.

Either you're one who is in the herd, is aware of the herd, and attempts as best you can, on as many occasions possible to break free of this herd. Or you're unaware of the existence of the herd (or, i presume, aware of it, but content to exist within it). Lets say for our sake you're in group A, such as myself. Yes, we could be scolded and reprimanded for doing what our bad-intentions society says to do, but as I say, not in this particular post. Rather, think to yourself, "what gives?"

Tonight I had a presentation by a professor on the nature of education. His argument was pretty brilliant, (ask if you're interested, be forewarned of its length) but he arrived at a fairly lofty conclusion. We need to fix this position we're stuck in, as all of our conventional systems and institutions are causing more harm than good. We need change; we need a REVOLUTION! But yet, is it a realistic goal that is likely to be achieved? No. What will it take for real changes; not motivated by finances or personal gain, to occur? If we all are in group A, and continuously pulling people out of the herd, what will it take for us to realize our conventional ways of living will also need massive overhauls in tangible, revolutionary ways? For a planet that spends billions exploring the rest of space, you'd think we'd concern ourselves a little bit more with the problems on our own turf. The last thing a herd like this needs is more land to tread on.

What would it take for our conventional systems to transform? For our emphasis to shift from major corporations and institutions towards the individuals? The only hope one can cling to is that people will become aware of the flaws of our old paradigms and attempt to free themselves from this old way of thinking. Beyond that, it seems nothing will ever be done to change the status quo in all its areas. It's a shame that we may all arrive at the same intellectual conclusions and yet concede that it is beyond our influence to do anything about these problems. Thus, not only shall I say "down with the man", but down with all who support this same man. We should have put a woman in charge.