So here it is sports fans, teammates, regular readers, and anyone else with eyes on my words: soccer blog time. Long since discussed, perhaps long overdue, there's much to be said.
The game starts, I'm beginning on the bench. I like the view, so I have coach start me here. It's also where I practice telling jokes, using different sarcastic tones, fake stretching, and if need be, British commentary. Conversation is key when you start in the position of bench, any mistakes or lapses leave some awkward pauses and missed opportunities for various immature jokes. Memo to self, become familiar with team nicknames, that's what she said jokes, and all sorts of balls puns. Beyond this, make conversation with various fans and supporters of the team. It's the job of the bench to make them feel welcomed, and to ask all the necessary questions about their family dynamics, where they live, what time they get off work and what routes they take to get home. You need to represent the team, so be thorough. If you want to feel important in this key role, yell various supportive phrases to your teammates on the field. I would suggest things like "good ball!", "talk out there/let's hear some communication!", "nice try! (even if it's not)", and always yell about Jizzy, it's a fan favourite.
When coach puts you in, don't act surprised. Pretend you knew it was coming, that you deserve to be entered into the real game, and start to do some fake stretching (it makes you look legit). Know the name of the person you're replacing, call it when it's time, and ALWAYS high five on the way in, (never leave him hanging, it's rude). As for what to do when you're on the field, you'll need to watch some youtube tutorials, I haven't quite figured it all out yet. Just get good at PKs, and you'll be fine. Welcome to CFC, enjoy your stay!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
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